Current mood:	Ommmm....
Current music:	FUCKING BUILDERS outside Jack's house

Penny Lane
Her drag and click had never yeilded anything as perfect as a dragonfly.

I'm off to Greece with Louis on friday. WHOOP WHOOP. Suck on that. Will be so amazing. However I've just realised that tonight will be my last chance to see Barn before I go, I'm just hoping I can get hold of him. Going to a weird H&M party re-opening thing tomorrow which should be fun, and Jason and David should be coming so it'll be cool to see them. Then thursday I will be packing then I've got to go to the workshop, even though I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. I want to do something with black pearls. They're the colour of oil slick... *drewl* I've decided from now on I'm only making stuff to sell, since I have NO money. I want to work in Clairs Accessories. It's so foul, I love it.

Last night I dreamt that I was at a party and Barney got with some girl in the next room. I could see their feet through the doorway. It was strange, when I woke up I was nearly dissapointed. In some strange way it's like I want him to hurt me, I guess to justify these feelings I have which have come from his past, even though he's been so good to me and never given me any reason not to trust him. I want to be with him so much, I don't know why I get this, it's happened before. If someone is really good to me I start looking for things to be pissed off about. Everyone thinks I'm so nice, but sometimes I can be really fucking harsh. I wouldn't go out with me. Like on Saturday after this Ska Toons gig, we all went back to Barn's, including this girl called Elsa who's a friend of Martin's. She was younger than us, but really sweet, very pretty. Barn didn't pay her any attention, he was lovely to me all evening, but even so it made me angry, just because I knew that under normal circumstances if he wasn't going out with me it would be her in that bed right now. He's changed since he met me, everyone says so, but I can't help still feeling like this sometimes. He's done nothing wrong. He's fantastic. Most of the time I know and feel this.